On Courage

When we speak of courage, we often focus on the great courage of those that risk life and limb: Soldiers, Firemen, Police, and individual acts of heroism to save others in risky conditions, but courage is displayed more often in smaller ways.  Anytime we behave well in the face of fear, we are courageous. Maybe the quality of courage is less than those that jump out of airplanes to fight fires, but courage none the less.

Losing at chess hurts, not just because we want to win, but because chess is a contest of thought. Thought is core to being human. Even mistakes we make in victories are troubling. Examining our mistakes hurts again, because we relive the damage to our self-esteem. It takes courage to face the fear of the pain, and to examine our mistakes.

We must examine our mistakes if we are to improve. We must not just quickly look at our mistakes, excuse them (I was tired or time was short) and move on, but really understand where the mistake came from. Excuses relieve the pain, but those conditions will recur, and if we do not root out the causes of error, we will continue to make mistakes.

Improving at chess takes courage. We must face our mistakes to learn. We must delve into them deeply to understand fully the lessons they hold.

In the following position, my opponent(white) and I(black) were both short on time. I saw that with ...Nd3 I could prevent white from winning, but ...Nxb3 had better winning chances, but allowed his king and bishop freedom to enter my position. I was concerned with the problem of protecting my f and d pawns if his bishop gains the a4 to e8 diagonal. I did not notice that ...d4 for me would force a passed pawn.

I could have excused the draw the short time I had left, but time pressure will happen. I could have excused the draw on not recognizing the passed pawn creation motif ...d4, but there will always be things we don't know.

The root cause of my making the inferior move ...Nd3+, was because I was afraid of a loss. I needed the courage to face the fact that I had given in to fear.